Match 5 - England 1 - France 2

First Half

Gosh this is exciting. Either we win or we go home. Nobody neutral would call it. Either team could go through.
Starting ball replaced for some reason. Not sure what that was about.
Mbappé looking lively from the start. England look good on the counter. Foden has an early go that is blocked.
End to end in the first 6 minutes but no real threat on goal. Kyle Walker could do with sitting a bit harder on Mbappé.
Giroux gets the first real chance of the game but Pickford smothers it. Kane drives forward but runs out of space quickly
France have another go but not really causing much trouble. Although if it carries on there will be goals.
France Score! Tchouaméni scores from miles out through a sea of legs. France looking best by a stride.
Luke Shaw freekick straight to Lloris. Harry Kane brings it forward with Henderson for a goal mouth scramble but no joy. Half way through the first half one down and frankly drowning.

Kane has a good penalty shout on the edge of the box. Ref says not but goes to VAR. We are waiting. No penalty. Seems like a bad decision but I am not neutral. Boooo!
Big shot from Kane from a distance and deflecting saved brilliantly by Lloris. England have a corner that leads to a goal mouth scramble that is cleared.
Saka should get a free kick just outside the box but Referee waved play on.
40 mins and scrambling around the box again but not really threatening. Henderson moving off the ball at speed of the queue at US immigration control.
Griesman gets a yellow card for chopping down Kyle Walker. First good decision the Ref has made.
England have a corner on the stroke of half time. Foden to take. Turns out bollocks. Hernandez down and lots of shouting but Bellingham just collided with him.
First half over England in trouble but Referee taking stick.

Second Half

Time to realise we are in a spot of bother and unless we do something about it we are buggered. Bellingham taken down in a yellow card challenge. Corner to England. Great volley from Bellingham better save be Lloris.
Second corner and goes nowhere. Very soft foul against Henderson on Mbappé. Free kick goes nowhere.
Saka has a cross to nowhere and then Henderson a shot to legs. Saka taken down and gets a penalty. Gosh Kane to take. Very frightened.
Kane Scores. Can Jacques make full points for the day! England Level.
England go to sleep at the back. Ravio through the middle good save by Jordan Pickford.
France have another great counter attack. Walker can’t match Mbepp&eacoute;. Cleared in the end but France look lethal on the attack.
Harry Kane is now equal to Rooney as all time top scorer on 53 goals.
Poor shot by Saka easily if not confidently stopped by Lloris.
Foden wanders around the wilderness all alone. Kane has another crack but not frightening his Premier league team mate Lloris.
Foden fouled by Griesman who already has one yellow. No card this time.
Referee mean to Saka and awards to France instead. Giroud has a go and gets nowhere.
Now we make a sham of passing around our own box!
Referee coming to his senses and gives Saka a foul. Interesting set piece goes to Maguire and headed just past the post.
Great cross. Seems that went out of Saka. If so how could he miss it.

Bellingham claims a penalty but the Ref is having none of it.
Giroud has another go but no joy. Mount warming up as Gareth gets ready for a change.
Great instinctive save from Pickford. Giroud left in all the space in the world in the middle of the box.
Well it has been coming and Giroud scores a header from a Greisman cross. Defenders left ball watching.
Henderson off – Mount on. Sterling on – Saka off.
Big penalty shout for England. Do not think it will be given, Ref goes to telly. Penalty Given. Hernadez booked.
Gosh Kane again to take another penalty. Skies it. Not even close. What a twat! He took the Waddle.
Maguire booked for leaving in an elbow and gets petulant. We don't need that.
8 minutes of extra time given. Who knows from where.
England have a corner. It came to nothing.
Extra time counting down and England getting slower. Shaw crosses in too close to Lloris.
Stones down looking in some ankle pain. Stones goes off. Grealish on.
England have a well positioned free kick for what is probably the last roll of the dice. Rashford on. No idea when. Missed something. As it happened so did Rashford. Top of the net and England are going home.

Bugger!

Match 4 - England 3 - Senegal 0.

First Half

Sterling unavailable for family reasons, no details given and Gareth chooses the leave the very in form Rashford on the bench for and play Saka and Foden. There is talent there but will we need the experience against the Champions of Africa?

Senegal get the first chance with Maguire caught out moving forward. Senegal are a different league to the opposition so far.
England are passing out bravely but not always accurately. Attacking hard though. There just seem to be more Senegal players on the pitch right now.
First ten minutes done and England have had the better part of the possession if not real solid shot on goal. Kane puts a good ball across the box but Saka not close to it.
England starting to put some moves together but not really threatening.
England scrabble the ball away but that was certainly a missed chance for Senegal. Best chance of the game so far. VAR check for hand ball is cleared.
Game is starting to get a little messy. Twenty-five mins in, England certainly not looking like the better side but neither are Senegal.
Another good chance for Senegal and a save from Pickford. Senegal looking the more threating in the last quarter of the first half. A foul from Kyle Walker leads to a chance that goes nowhere. Then a fast move with Bellingham links up with Hendo for the first goal of the game. England 1 Senegal 0. Huzzah.
Close quarters shot from Kane over the bar. Two good crosses from Saka though in quick succession.
\ On the end of half time Harry Kane scores from another quick Bellingham move. 2-0 all is well.

Second Half

Second half starts and it is obvious that the ITV commentary team do not feel confident yet. This is a good place to start from.
Assistant referee Kathryn Nesbitt is the first female referee to take part in the last 16 of the World Cup. May there be many more.
Wide shot from Saka with the real expectation. A little be less energy at the start of the second half.
Long shot from Kane that the keeper has trouble getting hold of but didn’t ever look net bound.
Foden rides a tackle to nutmeg his man and make the perfect cross to Saka. 3-0 and that might just be enough.
Saka is off for the night and Rashford on. Saka has had a great game. Foden off also and replaced by Rashford. Fresh legs at the business end and some match minutes.
We can tell the thrill of the game is subsiding a the commentary team discuss fostering cats. Senegal change two player and their supporters keep dancing.
Foul from Henderson gives Senegal an interesting free kick that bounces off the side netting. I think the Senegal army is a bit more barmy that the English one.
Mount and Deir on Bellingham and Stones off. Resting legs I guess but there is a nearly a week off now.
Great link up with Henderson and Rashford just couldn’t quite find the boot tip of Kane. Great play.
Henderson off for Calvin Phillips as we reach 81 minutes. All over but the shouting.
Senegal not given up yet manage to put one over the bar and put on a final substitute.
Senegal starting to look tired but they are going to push to the bitter end but getting more desperate as the go. A long shot goes 10 feet over the bar.
4 minutes of added time now as Rashford has a go and puts the ball in the side netting. An over hit cross more to blame than his accuracy.
Well England have done well and for all our doubt they didn’t look any worse than France did against Poland. Might be an interesting Saturday Evening. All Done!

Match 3 - England 3 - Wales 0.

First Half

England seem to have decided to keep things calm at the start. Lot of passing between Maguire and Stones.
Early break and shot from Rashford. Good Stop by Ward but nice move after 10 mins of cagey dullness. England seem inspired a little.
Hopeful shot by Foden going nowhere.
Fifteen mins in and England have 75% possession but only one shot on target.
Direct free kick from a distance Rashford looks hopeful but Shaw looking at it. Might try something clever. Bit tricky to Maguire at the back post but all a bit complicated to achieve much.
Another Free kick. England looking too cautious at times but getting more confident. Set pieces are rubbish though. Williams take ball to the head and falls over.
No amount of commentary can make this interesting. We are playing very dull football. Corner, perhaps we can use it.
Niko Williams seems not have recovered from the ball to the head and is going off. Conner Roberts on. Mandy happy to see a Burnley boy at the world cup!
A slicker moves sees a shot over the bar from Foden. The commentators go wild but it wasn’t on target
Overhead kick from Rashford from a deflected cross. Looks great but wide of the mark. To be fair the chances are coming.
Poor cross from Rashford stopped by Conner but England are starting to push in the last 5 mins of the half.
As the half ends goalless there is a long shot by Joe Allan. Not great.

Second Half

Brennan Johnson on Gareth Bale off. Gosh that is a thing.
Foden fouled on the edge of the box. Interesting early free kick. This time the free kick is just kicked and not trying to be clever England score. Great strike from Rashford!
Foden Scores and second from the restart. England have found a new pace. Cross across the box from Kane and all is done.
Pickford saves a Harry Maguire header and puts it out for a corner.
Trent on Wilson on Philips on, Rice, Kane and Walker off. Looking forward to seeing Trent bring some pace and inventive play.
Morrel on Davies off for Wales. Apparently not a mushroom. Mandy says looks like Wales have gone 4-5-1. She knows best.
People getting poorly now. Hendo takes a knock but recovers like Terminator. Bellingham has a drink.
Goal three from Rashford. That makes 100 world cup goals for England at world cup finals. Seems like England have this now. Poor Wales.
Rashford off Grealish on. Shame he was not left on to get a shot at the hat trick.
Foden misses some how. Between Foden and Bellingham hard to see how that didn’t go in.
Joe Allen goes down perhaps something pulled.
Match coming to a close. Eighty Seven minutes leave us to play Senegal on Sunday. Interesting.
Four Mins of extra time. Stones turns a close quarters cross over the bar. Very nearly 4.
England win. Top of the group and all is well! Huzzah.

Match 1 - England 6 - Iran 2

First Half

England had a pacey start with an early penalty shout when both Stones and Maguire were wrestled to the floor but VAR said no. First shot of the game from Kane saved well. Trippier and Keeper clash heads marvellously. Very big nose to take a clouting. Huge delay for medical treatment but the keeper stayed on for 2 mins before going down again. Totally ridiculous. Should have gone off straight away. New Keeper on. Iran seemed to improve for the 15 minute goal keeper rest.

Weak shot by Saka but at least we have 2 shots in 30 mins now. Considering how bad the Iranians are this is not much for our efforts. A shot from Mason Mount goes wide. Could have done better but going forward at least.

Off the post from Maguire. Getting closer.

Jude Bellingham scores our first of the tournament from a Luke Shaw cross. Great header.

The crowd sing Hey Jude!

Goal Number two from Saka. Corner and a great strike with a slight deflection after a Maguire head down. Iranians complain for a foul but VAR says goal good.
Third Goal from Sterling and now we are motoring. 14mins of injury time to play with.

As the half comes to an end Iran have a good go and show that England can still be vulnerable.

Second Half

Early free kick in a good position from foul on Harry Kane. No goal for him so far but this is not the Harry Kane show and he has played his part. Taking some treatment.
Trippier puts it straight into the wall. Bugger. Now Trippier fouled. Might get messy as the Iranians tire.
Fine attack with Sterling showing a great link up with Kane and great pace. Well defended but England starting with confidence.
15 minutes into the second half and England look a lot more relaxed. Managing the game rather than pushing for the next goal. An ambitious low shot from 30yrds does not trouble Pickford or indeed get close to him.
Second goal for Saka makes it 4-0. Great goal with patience and composure.
Iran Score. A moment when Maguire loses his man and suddenly 4-1. Maguire is down
Maguire off. Iran try to capitalise on 10 men but not quite for now
Rashford, Foden, Grealish and Dier on and Maguire, Saka, Mount, Sterling off.
Rashford Scores with his second touch. Fine appearance.
Kane off, Wilson on. Hard to believe his grandfather was Harold and his Great Uncle Sargent.
Rashford still looks good for a second but not this time.
Wilson brings the ball forward and lays it off selflessly for Grealish for a tap in. Fabulous 6-1.
10 mins extra time second half that makes 28 minutes more than a quarter of a game extra. Iran finish off with a shot tipped off the post just to remind us they came to that game. Now a last minute VAR check for a penalty. Iran have a penalty. Took about an hour to decide. 6-2. Bugger.
Not that it matters much England have done the job. I took ten minutes to settle but after that is was never in doubt. Solid performance and hopefully sees us out of the group. Woot Woot!

Match 2 - England 0 USA 0

First Half

Gareth Starts with the same starting 11 for the first time since a long time ago. They keep telling us when but I do not really care.
US definitely using the high press as predicted. England seem happy to let them for now but it is making for a sluggish start.
First shot from Kane well defended for a corner. Looked good though.
Fifteen minutes in and England are starting to push. Looking hopeful but not yet scaring the keeper. US have their first shot on the break but defended efficiently. Game must be a little dull as I am given to wonder what happened to the band with the drum and trumpets. Missing the Great Escape theme.
England getting hit on the break again. Need to be careful. Nice bit of dinky stuff from Sterling but not enough movement off the ball to make it worth it.
US starting to settle and threaten as the half progresses and England look a bit disorganised when not possession. Hearing the Drums and Trumpets in the distance.
Musah does a lot of rolling until the ref blows. Mount pretends to get hit in the face in revenge.
USA rattle the bar and England look fragile. Maybe more defending and less arm waving would help.
As we get to 40mins England are looking short of ideas and looking at each other rather than taking the responsibility. USA knocking at the door and if it carries on they will score.
Another good chance for the USA put wide. England looking poor.
Better from England. Good chance wasted as Saka skies it over the bar from 4 paces. Then another shot well saved from Mount. England finishing better.
Whistle goes. USA had the best of a goal free first half. England must do better!

Second Half

USA start off with more of the same but England start to settle and have a go. We need to learn that trying to slow the game and pass around the back is only going to encourage the US team to press higher.
USA with another corner. They are just playing harder. Pickford starting to rattle. Could go full toddler at the swings in a moment. Now we are just shouting and each other. Arm waving increases.
Another US corner and another. This many they will get good at them.
Can not help but think if we had practiced an offside trap we would be a lot better off.
Another corner and Another. This is painful.
At last a little shot.
Henderson getting ready to come on. God Help Us. Grealish too though. That could help! Sterling and Bellingham off. Not sure at all
Twenty mins are left. We could pray for a 0-0.
75 mins and the commentary team have started to talk about playing for a goal. US sub McKennie for someone else I have never heard of and some other people too.
Saka off Rashford on. Maguire is holding a bum cheek. It is his own. Henderson sends a high looping nonsense cross to the keeper. !0 mins left in this goal draught and the US swap some more people I never heard of.
England have a free kick. Games looks more like a draw than it should.
Bad shot from Rashford but at least he had a go. 89 mins and Hendo wins a free kick.
Rare corner for England in the first of 4 mins of extra time.
Harry Kane stuffs up a header from a late free kick. Oh end it now! Full time 0-0. England were very very poor. If this is England against USA what happens against Spain or Brazil!